I have been getting antsy to read a good educational book lately, so I went on Amazon and found a book on parenting and one on marriage that I thought I'd really like. I haven't received them yet, but reading all the reviews got me thinking quite a bit. I've found that for most of the non-medical questions that I've had in parenting (those regarding discipline, sleep, time management, scheduling, feeding, etc.), to find the answer I must only ask one simple question, and that usually leads me exactly where I need to go. It sounds cliche, but maybe there's a reason for that, simply, "What would Jesus do?" He is our example in marriage, in life, and so why not as a parent? Why not most importantly as a parent, since that is our most important calling in life, and especially one with which we can have the most impact?
Parenting subjects affect me deeply, as children are so dear to my heart, and I have searched diligently for the right answers to these subjects. I have gleaned quality information from many sources, and how did I decide on the best answers and the best sources-by knowing ahead of time the type of answer I was looking for. A loving and caring answer, one without hurt, either for me or for my child. Did I find many tempting answers along the way, yes. I have had doctors, religious leaders, fellow parents, non-parents, you name it- give me advice about parenting that sounded like it might work, and like it might work well, with sometimes an undertone, sometimes a blatant overcast, of hurt. "Oh, it'll hurt you more than it hurts them!" What? Why does it have to hurt? If it is good, it shouldn't hurt so bad, or at least I shouldn't hurt so bad. The biggest hurts I have felt are when me or someone close to me are doing something they aren't supposed to. Parenting is about unconditional love. Unconditional love doesn't sound hurtful to me.
There are a few parenting debates that I've seen come up again and again in parenting groups, both personally and professionally as a parent educator. Luckily, I had these subjects introduced to me long before I became a parent, before my lack of sleep or frustration clouded my judgment. Just as we tell preteens to make up their minds about their values before a temptation comes along, I believe we as parents should strive to educate ourselves and decide on an action before the issue comes up, as much as possible anyway. Back to the two debates-spanking and sleep. This is where I said, I think a very simple answer accompanies both these debates. No matter how many times I try to picture this, it seems absolutely absurd, and almost sacreligious, can you imagine Christ striking a child? I can't. I really truly cannot even fathom this scene. And its not as if Christ didn't spend any time around children, he focused a lot of his ministry on children. I think we tend to forget this. He showed us how to be parents, he told us how to be parents. He knew parenting was a huge issue. With the time he spend in people's homes and with children on his lap, do you think Christ didn't get the opportunity to see a child throw a tantrum, or have a child pull his hair, or hear a child call his mom a bad word? Based on what I've seen, I don't think children were just perfect around him either. My son is certainly not perfect just because we're at church! In any case, although I have perfected my own side of the spanking debate on many levels, this is quite possibly the simplest illustration I can give, when we picture Christ with a child, we picture him holding the child, always loving and caring with the little ones!
Which leads me to children and sleep. Here I don't think the answer of what to do is so clearcut. But I can definitely see what Christ would not do. I can most easily see him rocking a child, stroking their hair, and singing a comforting lullaby. There are no examples of this in the scriptures, but as children had such a special place in his heart, I am sure he never gave up an opportunity to soothe a child who was tired or upset. Can I see him locking a child in a room because they just won't sleep? Again, I cannot. Not even a little bit. Can I see him watching a child stand and cry out to him desperately without him going straight to them to comfort them? I cannot. I can see him staying up with a sick child all night so that baby's mother can get some sleep. I can see him blessing that child and calming him, not giving a thought to his own comfort.
There are caring and loving alternatives for each parenting situation. Do they require study and education to find? Yes. Are they always the easiest and least time-consuming option? Hardly ever. Is it worth the extra effort? I think so.
