The New Baby

The most exciting development of the past week has been experiencing baby move. I think this baby is just as wiggly as my Vito was, but I'm feeling him/her quite a bit earlier, and maybe that's why it feels different. Although my stomach is quite large, my pants never fit, and I can feel baby move, the whole thing still doesn't feel quite real to me, and the movement is still surprising. Also interesting is that baby and Vito seem to have the same wiggly times. I think the reason this pregnancy seems less real may be because we got to have an ultrasound quite early with Vito. We still have 20 days til our ultrasound with this little one. I am excited to find out what we are having, as I think it will make everything seem more real, and it may motivate us to really choose a boy's name if we need to. If not, it is one less thing to worry about, but means I will be sorting and washing a lot of girls clothes, since Vito's old clothes are still clean and organized. I am also excited as we were able to schedule our ultrasound at Jim Everson's office, and I am assured by the receptionist that he should be in that afternoon. Although Vito tried very hard to hide his gender from us, Jim still came out with the correct prediction (although he was only 95% sure :). Plus Jim just looks so familiar that it makes everything less crazy, and it makes me laugh when I think of Aunt Lissa having had a crush on him in yesteryears. I will keep you all updated!

Parenting and Christ

I have been getting antsy to read a good educational book lately, so I went on Amazon and found a book on parenting and one on marriage that I thought I'd really like. I haven't received them yet, but reading all the reviews got me thinking quite a bit. I've found that for most of the non-medical questions that I've had in parenting (those regarding discipline, sleep, time management, scheduling, feeding, etc.), to find the answer I must only ask one simple question, and that usually leads me exactly where I need to go. It sounds cliche, but maybe there's a reason for that, simply, "What would Jesus do?" He is our example in marriage, in life, and so why not as a parent? Why not most importantly as a parent, since that is our most important calling in life, and especially one with which we can have the most impact?

Parenting subjects affect me deeply, as children are so dear to my heart, and I have searched diligently for the right answers to these subjects. I have gleaned quality information from many sources, and how did I decide on the best answers and the best sources-by knowing ahead of time the type of answer I was looking for. A loving and caring answer, one without hurt, either for me or for my child. Did I find many tempting answers along the way, yes. I have had doctors, religious leaders, fellow parents, non-parents, you name it- give me advice about parenting that sounded like it might work, and like it might work well, with sometimes an undertone, sometimes a blatant overcast, of hurt. "Oh, it'll hurt you more than it hurts them!" What? Why does it have to hurt? If it is good, it shouldn't hurt so bad, or at least I shouldn't hurt so bad. The biggest hurts I have felt are when me or someone close to me are doing something they aren't supposed to. Parenting is about unconditional love. Unconditional love doesn't sound hurtful to me.

There are a few parenting debates that I've seen come up again and again in parenting groups, both personally and professionally as a parent educator. Luckily, I had these subjects introduced to me long before I became a parent, before my lack of sleep or frustration clouded my judgment. Just as we tell preteens to make up their minds about their values before a temptation comes along, I believe we as parents should strive to educate ourselves and decide on an action before the issue comes up, as much as possible anyway. Back to the two debates-spanking and sleep. This is where I said, I think a very simple answer accompanies both these debates. No matter how many times I try to picture this, it seems absolutely absurd, and almost sacreligious, can you imagine Christ striking a child? I can't. I really truly cannot even fathom this scene. And its not as if Christ didn't spend any time around children, he focused a lot of his ministry on children. I think we tend to forget this. He showed us how to be parents, he told us how to be parents. He knew parenting was a huge issue. With the time he spend in people's homes and with children on his lap, do you think Christ didn't get the opportunity to see a child throw a tantrum, or have a child pull his hair, or hear a child call his mom a bad word? Based on what I've seen, I don't think children were just perfect around him either. My son is certainly not perfect just because we're at church! In any case, although I have perfected my own side of the spanking debate on many levels, this is quite possibly the simplest illustration I can give, when we picture Christ with a child, we picture him holding the child, always loving and caring with the little ones!

Which leads me to children and sleep. Here I don't think the answer of what to do is so clearcut. But I can definitely see what Christ would not do. I can most easily see him rocking a child, stroking their hair, and singing a comforting lullaby. There are no examples of this in the scriptures, but as children had such a special place in his heart, I am sure he never gave up an opportunity to soothe a child who was tired or upset. Can I see him locking a child in a room because they just won't sleep? Again, I cannot. Not even a little bit. Can I see him watching a child stand and cry out to him desperately without him going straight to them to comfort them? I cannot. I can see him staying up with a sick child all night so that baby's mother can get some sleep. I can see him blessing that child and calming him, not giving a thought to his own comfort.

There are caring and loving alternatives for each parenting situation. Do they require study and education to find? Yes. Are they always the easiest and least time-consuming option? Hardly ever. Is it worth the extra effort? I think so.

snow

so tonight on the way home from work it was snowing a lot and it wasn't slick or anything but the visibility was pretty terrible and vito was a little fussy and then the roads were getting worse and there were stupid people that were braking in front of me every 10 seconds for no reason at all. so i pass the car and then i realize its really peaceful and quiet and i look back to check on vito and he is sound asleep in his car seat, cute as can be. i know he is busy and crazy and rotten but there has not been one time when i really really needed him to be good that he has not just been a perfect little angel. and that is that.

having a new baby

today i was thinking about a few of the things i am most excited about having another baby. vito will still be my baby boy forever, but i think he is going to be the most awesome big brother ever! luckily he has not entered any hitting or toy-taking phases, i think he will mostly be jealous of time with mommy, so we're working on spending more one-on-one with daddy. also, i have held a few babies lately (every chance i get) and he is very soft and hasn't cried, but it hasn't been close to bed/naptime either.
1. i am SO excited to see vito with his new baby brother or sister for the first time, i know i will cry!
2. i am SO excited to get pictures done of the family together. the lady we went to last time, Kara Olsen, did an AMAZING job and is so good with kids and newborns. the pics i had when vito was done are some of the most treasured things i possess!
3. i am SO excited to see daddy with the new baby. i know nathan will be showing off his new treasure to everyone who will look! he glows more than a pregnant woman when he's got a new baby in his arms.
4. i am SO excited to see vito and the baby (and probably daddy, too) napping together. it melts my heart!
5. i am SO excited to see MiMi with the new baby! she glows almost as much as nathan with a new baby in her arms!
6. i am excited to see guin and lilli swarm the new baby when we visit. they are hilarious!
7. oh, AND I AM EXCITED TO HOLD THE NEW BABY MYSELF!!!!!! i'm gonna snuggle that little bundle and snuggle em summore! and it's gonna have the fuzziest little head and i'm just gonna kiss that noggin all day. and then when daddy steals em i'm gonna snuggle my veetz (if he'll let me) and kiss his fuzzy little head. and i might give nathan a kiss too!