Random Post about the Priesthood

If you are not a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and have any questions for me about any of this, just let me know. I feel somewhat awkward about posting something that I actually know little about factually, but I think this is a valuable public post anyways, since it talks about parenthood, not just from and LDS perspective, but mostly from my perspective. A friend of mine posted a link about some women who are protesting because they think they should be able to go to the Priesthood Session of General Conference. There are some things that I don't care much about and I can just skip over and let go of. This, however, was one of those things I haven't been able to let go of. I didn't even read the link, and I'm definitely not an expert on anything churchy, I'll admit that out front. I do have my inkling of faith, however, and its not that this threatened my faith, why I couldn't let go, but actually quite the opposite, which is interesting. It was a tiny quiet moment (don't have a lot of those) when I could look deep inside myself and actually see my values, all laid out there, and actually see levels of faith in those values. If I was any bit computer literate I would make a little picture graph or something, but we'll just have to do with words.
So, back to my values. Wow, surprised to see how much faith I have in my calling in life as a mother. I know that I really put my all into being a mother, but I always come up disappointed in myself, knowing that I could do better, that I could be stronger, that I could be more patient. But I guess just knowing that Heavenly Father knows how much I love these two little children that he blessed me with and how much I really put into them helps me to not be discouraged, to have the hope that I can learn and grow and do better.
Wow, surprised to see how much faith I have in my marriage and my husband. Sometimes it seems like with work and kids and life I am never as patient as I should be with my husband. I feel blamey and naggy and complainy and such. But that guy works so hard for me and our kiddos, and still takes the time to love us all and take care of us all. And I look at him and the way he treats me and it's just oh, so nice to have someone that treats me like I have value and worth and have someone that appreciates me, despite all my many shortcomings, and lets me do whatever crazy thing I want to do just cause he knows its important to me. He doesn't tell me, well, that's stupid, or that will take too much of your time, or you should do this instead. He just supports me. What a relief to know that he knows that I am doing my best too.
I can't help feeling, as a woman, so deep deep down that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. That I was given so many great tools and great people in my life to help me to be a better mom and a better wife. As you all know, I do a lot of reading, and in studying marriage and family, it is so apparent to me that men and women are made so different, not as a trial, but as a stepping stone to just overcome all these basic little differences so we can learn to work together, to be more patient with each other, to learn to listen to each other, to learn to meet our goals and live our lives TOGETHER. It can't be, well, you are a man so you have to do this list and I'm a woman so this is going to be my list. That's how most of our parents did it, and they had to either learn a new way or split. I don't even want to go there. I don't want to learn a new way. I just wanna do the way that works, cause how much better and easier is that? How lovely is it to have a companion in everything I do, how much better of a mommy can I have daddy parenting next to me? How much better can daddy work if he has a companion who supports him in his work? And I'm not saying there won't be fights, or that their shouldn't be fights or learning curves or stepping stones. I've been trying to beat this game called Bubble World or something like that by going straight to the second level and I can't beat it. I had to go all the way back to the first level and learn the basics first, because that's the way it is.
So back to this linky thing. There are certain causes that I feel are started and develop because of certain divine intervention. There are other causes that I wish were more important and that people, including myself could spend more time on. I feel that this is a cause that was started because there was a problem that wasn't getting solved and so there is a movement that is trying to solve a problem. This movement isn't the answer to the problem, however, in my opinion. If someone wants something, like equality, you have to start small. You have to solve the small problems first, just like a first level. Our basic level in relationship problem solving is the family. If you have a dysfunctional family than there are going to be problems. If a priesthood leader is using his priesthood authority in the wrong way, there are going to be consequences. Unfortunately, women and children mostly have the effects of those consequences. What is the problem? It's not the priesthood, it's not the family unit, it's the person who is using it improperly. We do not need two priesthood leaders in each family unit. What we need is men who understand their role as husbands and fathers and who are making righteous decisions so they can be led by the Spirit and use the priesthood to help and uplift their family and their wives.
As a woman, I have experienced the miracle that it is to be a mother. To be handed a little baby with his or her own little Spirit and be entrusted to take care of them. Our bodies were intelligently designed to create children, to give birth, which is in itself a huge miracle and such a spiritual experience, and even to be able to feed our babies. We are given the strength to do all these things, to endure the sleepless nights and the endless stress that it is to be responsible for that little one's life and development. I have seen that even the most caring fathers are not given the same strengths that women are. Men are not designed to be pregnant, to birth children, to feed children naturally. Which is okay. Are men angry about this? I have yet to see men protest that women are the only ones who get to birth children.
And so I refuse to glorify women that are protesting a right that was divinely given to men to give them the strength that they need to fulfill the responsibilities within the home that they need to fulfill. They are not heroes in my eyes, they have been misled, as many of us are at one time or another, by false information or negative experiences or who knows? But I do feel that they are misled. I do believe that there are certain traditions that should be discontinued if they are not working. I feel like the only reason these women would believe the priesthood is not working, however, would be because they feel threatened or undervalued. The problem lies with the person or people that are making them feel that way, not with the church. I would hope that they could find a cause that would help them to feel valued and to be able to truly see, as I have been very blessed to experience, their true potential as women.
I see the women around me and especially the mothers with young children and my heart both swells and aches for each one of them. I know this is just a tiny bit of what Heavenly Father feels for each one of His precious daughters. And so I believe He has given us the strength that we need innately. He has also given us helpers, especially husbands, but in other cases, our own mothers, friends, sisters, other family members, to uplift us and encourage us. He has given us prayer, so we may communicate with Him at any time of day or night, probably used by mothers mostly at night. He has given our husbands the priesthood, and we can experience its full blessings, but only fully if we are in harmony with Him and with our husbands. These blessings are expanded because of the partnership we strive to have in our marriage. If we are not in a marriage relationship, we can experience priesthood blessings through the other helpers that we are given, especially from our fathers. How precious it is to see a father bond with his child and truly understand a child's struggles as he lays his hands upon that child's head and prays to Heavenly Father specifically for that child. I refuse to take that precious experience away from my husband just as I refuse to give him the blessing of snuggling my little one to nurse him at night. I can pray for my child any time I would like, and my husband can snuggle my child any time he likes, but we are given these most precious extras as gifts from our Heavenly Father and we should rejoice in the blessings and talents our spouses are given, not live in jealousy and hostility. This is all about finding the peace and joy in our lives and in our families and learning to overcome our own personal trials. I apologize that this is not based on facts and figures and historical events, of which I know little of. I don't deal much with anything scientifical while I take care of my most precious little babies. I am so grateful to my husband for allowing me to have this wonderful opportunity through his hard work and sacrifice. All I know is that there is a strong power that keeps me going when the hopelessness sets in at three o'clock in the morning that only another mommy would understand. The knowledge that I am doing the right thing and the most important thing I could be doing, loving and teaching my little ones. That is my testimony. Amen.